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The dream of Christmas morning 2010

I wake up and my bed with me inside it is materialized in the house of your father, the morning after Christmas Eve dinner. You've just got you're still in her nightgown. There he and his father arguing heatedly. And not the least notice of my appearance. But you, you realize it but you're not so surprised. I tell you come away with me. You do resistance at first, I can not, how do I? But I do not know how you convinced. All this happens in the presence of two more intent on talking that they do not notice shit. Just get on my bed and fly away. Have you decided, you change. You take off your shirt and stand naked in front of your father. Which shows no sign of noticing. But I rather pissed off and I start to tell you but how are you naked in front of your father? And you with your typical face of a sly and roguish smile as you say you know for some time. It still has not noticed anything. The situation is paradoxical. And yes, by the end maybe you do not really even seen walking through the room with the bafiona outside. I do go to the nervous and I think that now go up on my bed and disappear magic. But I wake up.

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inaugurate this triumphant return with the report of my last business trip. Pinerolo (TO) for a day and a half Fantozzi. Yes, because here's the genius who writes well thought did not want to drive that far, and it was abandoned in the arms of Trenitalia as would a ball of dung on his shit.

Travel schedule calculated on the fly by cashier smiling ( who hate you fucking laugh tuttiiiiiiiii ?!?!?! The Maghreb, which was in the queue in front of me has just cursed in three languages, your son will definitely flunked in 2nd grade and find that tomorrow afternoon watching Beautiful Ridge said he was gay and has organized a cow with his brother and father, just to close the circle ... ) that included 8 trains in two days, with connections more or less defined, alert you would like an old man who feels that a colonoscopy "is beginning" ...

The fact is that my boss had booked the booking and I was naively convinced that would be enough to support my ass on a reserved seat and I would have found its destination a few hours of sleep paid more .

Actually the first part, Ferrara-Bologna has not gone bad. The passenger sitting across from me has even - friendly - Stopped to wipe his shoes on my seat when he realized that I wanted to sit, that ass! Only her look guilty-fun made me suspect that he had just stopped passing the time by throwing boogers on my back while imagining Robin Hood full of arrows, a target far away ...

A bologna I get on the direct Frecciarossa in Milan. For the uninitiated the Frecciarossa is the modern version of the fast Faccettanera '20s, locomotive carrying Italian immigrants to find fortune in Ethiopia after the conquest ... It seems indeed that the functionality of the shipboard and processes remained the same since! But back to my Frecciarossa.

I have a seat in first class - Sticazzi! - I'm sitting in front of 2 managerssss not remove his eyes from the monitor even when the extension to the Journal from under the laptop as a magician would take away a tablecloth from a table. In the meantime, get the cart with the food, the company offers passengers a ^, and watch these dudes who kidnapped close calls with their secretaries ( phone calls in which they dictated letters to write and mail with utmost urgency, convinced that the Blackberry and portable data call them to him have to play solitaire ...) and stuff themselves to munching pretzels and chips loudly with his mouth open ... are infected by this friendly and informal atmosphere and decide to join the group by emitting a loud belch that is greeted by two standing ovations of the entire car. Now I am a member of the comp, and when the other raga will be set to see the progress of their securities on the stock market (all Arial, centered and bold, they are big boys ... ) I relax in the chair, winked at the hostess - which is immediately seized with violent orgasm and runs to change the inner - and I ask his colleague, not without a certain arrogance: champagne, cohiba, the Wall Street Journal, a scratch behind the shoulder blade that itches, caps for ears, a blinkered, one Paraculo, a foot bath, massage, shiatsu and its telephone number . She replied that the madman over there, what I had mistaken for the No. 3 car, it's her boyfriend, and then I'm a bit 'disappointed I tell you to think of it, I just want you a glass of juice' orange, and please ... no hurry.

change train in Milan, Frecciarossa always, always first class. Now I'm getting used too well. Too bad that my place is on the second carriage and I both got on 11. The next 15 minutes are a sequence of PIMM - "excuse me" - PAMM - "Pardon!" - STRAAAC - "ahiaaa!" - "Excuse me" - "Imagine" , which eventually allow me to sit more or less at Piacenza, after 150 km from the start. Finally seated, look at the card and know the words

WITH THIS TRIP YOU SAVED 68kg of CO2 emissions

that impresses me greatly, and makes me realize that I should actually give a little ' CO2 ... Too bad that the bathroom of my first-class carriage of the red arrow is out of order, and so that the carriage 3 and 4. So, in short, PIMM - "Excuse!" - PAMM - "Pardon!" - STRAAAC - "ahiaaa!" - "Excuse me" - "Imagine" , refer back the whole train and get access to the toilet, and then repeat an endless PIMM - PAMM - STRAAAC until my seat. A kind of odyssey shit, in the true sense of the word, the end of which I am seized by hallucinations and see the hostess of the previous train that weaves a web and smoking a Cohiba bevendosi my champagne. Immediately interrupt my fierce look when I realize that her boyfriend is pointing to me like a panther in the bush who sees a lame wildebeest for dinner.

Return not much more fortunate, indeed. Already at the regional, which must lead to Turin I sense that the moon (black) is in the sign of Mars, Jupiter and Pluto is sodomizing, actually a lot of bad luck for me. Throughout the journey the conductor, to which I was directed to get clarification on a coincidence that I came back, spends all his time shaking his head and repeating in a low voice "is not ever going to make" every time I pass by. On his indication off the train by jumping from the window (after checking that there were no passengers slapped nostalgic type My Friends), overtaking on the right on escalators, I get the fly on the subway, climb the escalator, across the tracks with a liana, shot two Indians who were attacking the apache pendulum Milan, making him throw a punch at the guard swallow the whistle on which I wanted to leave on foot and finally I get on 954 for BO.

Exhausted - but pleased with the compliments received from Harrison Ford for the way in which I made the connection - I fall asleep. When I woke up I look a bit 'sleepy around, and just when I think I have found in the nose that nugget that haunts me for days to know that in my back seat is Finocchiaro (yes, that Finocchiaro) that I observed in the reflection the window, shaking his head. Register the agenda # 4682 figure shit and I look forward to the arrival of the trolley, which I purchase a bag of corn cones, of which I am notoriously greedy. Well, the trip took a positive turn, and fly to Bologna. But here, just turn the nose to discover that the board probably will spend the night at the station, because the minutes of delay time for intercity 654 SL for Venice were piling up like presents under the Christmas tree. 20 ... 25 ... 30 ... 35. And for more up to a minute from the actual departure no one knew where I was leaving the train. He seemed to play flag: all ready to run, loads of luggage. The voice of the speaker increases the suspense: Train departing from binariooooooooooooooooo ........................ SEVEN! Taking the band Massarenti dribling of 2 toxic flying kick given to the machine with contempt of snacks the day before he fucked me 1 euro, position number 1 on the wagon. In post 51, because my 56 was squatted by a pair of Bari that just could not help but making out in front of my eyes tired.

Once home, while exploiting all the hot water of the district to remove the horrible smell of the train that I'm wearing, I remember the words of the Marine Rueda before my departure, "but is not the country of Pinerolo Fantozzi's aunt? ".

Aha!

NOTE: The contents of this post is true, except for the burp, scaccolata the front of the VIP and the two dead apache ...

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and ... we are back!

Yes, we're back. Me and my delusions of omnipotence.
We are back after long hiding because of a disarming lack of inspiration. But perhaps it is not correct to say so. More than anything I have no patience. With the arrival of face book, when I can think of bullshit, taaacito, the public, and farewell to poetry ... no more courtship or preliminary, click SEND and extract the lighter, because me and Richard Gere, "after", like smoking ...
Then you arrive at night without the reserve of a maximum (known as the pearl of the Reserve Pirla ) that first allowed me to entertain v louts or brain with a tale of a word or two pages.
But now I find myself with an excess of hilarity in the body, and I can reopen the LeggenBlog. And I want to clarify that this annoying humor is not due to the arrival of parties, nor to that pesky Santa Claus (I have not forgotten about you, you bastard, remember that we have a score to settle!). Instead, I became more sympathetic when they are acid. A pungent enjoyable, I can not help but please me ... and then viaaaa, encouraging pat on the shoulder, and off you go!

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[...]

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darkness in my shirt you're there




On [...] channel you rob
greeting the sailors
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keel will bow to my death your hugs

between our sex
stopped in mid

[...]

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monkeys and bananas, and then take

There are people, many people who are like monkeys with a banana in the ass. The banana also know the food alone, but need someone to tell him where to take the banana.

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The English language is known is more precise than ours.
Tonight I thought that "a decision" in English we say "make a decision."

Make a decision. Why yes, that's right. There is a basket where you put your hand in and pull out a ready-made decision. Decisions need to build them, make them, assembling them, manufacture them. The decisions do not choose, do not draw lots.

Any decision requires a creative effort, almost artisan. Deciding is hard. Deciding to do it.

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Summer is ending ..... the post-vacation blues

holidays are over!

Most people now returned from the seaside or mountains, is found to cope with everyday life, with what he had left the city before leaving on vacation.

But instead of being charged, full of energy and ready to face the new year and the long winter ahead, you feel tired, apathetic and bored.

Not to worry, we are facing the "Post vacation blues", or the so-called syndrome of "stress re-entry."

According to recent ISTAT figures clearly an Italian over 10 suffer from this syndrome, so as much as 10% of Italians have symptoms of stress due to changes in the pace of daily life

But how to recognize stress from returning?

I symptoms are:

ü Nervousness, irritability and agitation

ü fatigue and tiredness

ü Headache

ü Concern

ü disturbed sleep and feeding problems

ü Sweating and tachycardia syndrome

That leads to a global malaise which can result in coughing, insomnia, dizziness, muscle pain and in severe cases, in fact depression (as suggested by the English word "blues" )

The syndrome of "Stress re-entry" is due, as the term itself, the sudden change of habits, the abrupt transition from a relaxed lifestyle with no special requirements and activities to fulfill a On the contrary, fast-paced and full of responsibilities and activities typical of the workplace .

Stress, in fact, can be described as the body's biological response to situations of rapid change. It's usually expressed in three phases: an initial state of alert following a time of adjustment in which we try to find the "right" balance, and finally a stage of exhaustion when the subject is not just failed to adequately adapt to new situation.

How prevent the onset of stress re-entry?

In order to prevent the syndrome mentioned above would be desirable to take "precautions".

First we should "prepare themselves mentally to return and try to return home from vacation a few days before starting work, so as to give the body the ability to readjust to the" climate "citizen and the various activities carried out daily in a more gradual as possible. Then: soften the impact of the return from vacation!

Second would be useful to have a healthy diet, made up mostly of fruit and vegetables. Above all, it would be beneficial to consume foods containing simple sugars, such as grapes, because, apples, zucchini, and these in fact allow the body to produce a greater amount of serotonin, which is that of neuro mediator that will stimulate relaxation and thus the well-being. Then: eat healthy!

Third, once they return to work, should not groped overload of tasks and tasks of trying to indulge in a little 'time to regain its efficiency psycho - physical. Then: resume with "calm" their working lives.

Ultimately it would be desirable to concentrate on positive thoughts and gradually recover their own pace. Then: enjoy your time and your space.

Dr. Claudia Distefano

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here we go again!

The holidays are over.

Oltreparola And now the Association is working again!

hope that your return has been good, we invite you to follow us in our future activities!

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Happy holidays to all!

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ADVICE AND SUPPORT TO THE COUPLE

If a couple works, promotes emotional development and personal growth of both partners. It happens some times, however, that this positive effect inherent in the relationship is lost (or in some cases there is a difficulty in establishment from the start): The couple interact in ways that cause suffering to another. Each may focus on the faults of the other, the partners may mutually sharp set with discussions and quarrels with the feeling of misunderstanding each other without end.

What support and advice to couples ?
Support to pair encloses a series of interventions which are not aimed at judging who's wrong or who is right, but only to promote awareness in both partener special interactive dynamics that are developing in a relationship with particular the dynamics that ultimately maintain a state of suffering in the report (eg, special modes of communication or deposited on the unconscious expectations and their effects. impirtante for both partners is trying to understand what happens between them and how each contributes to block the possibilities of change
Couples therapy aims to restore, retrieve, or in some cases to give rise to those resources that allow the connection back to being a source of wealth for partners rather than a cause of suffering.
During a couples counseling, the goal is not to keep the couple together at all costs: in fact in some cases partners may get to decide to separate

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And stand together, but not too close to the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in shadow.

Gibran

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New technologies for new betrayals

Currently there has been a new phenomenon in the face of misunderstandings, hardships and conflict between partners, the temptation is to "run" in virtual life.

Why groped to understand and be understood, with all the difficulties of the case, in a relationship when there is someone in the chat with whom we can do so without difficulty?

What is born as virtual friendship, if discomfort occurs within a couple can become virtual love.

With the known person of the opposite sex in chat, you get to share, often in parts of themselves, do not take part either with their partner.

friendly intimacy becomes more emotional and you get to "replace" emotionally and then to betray their partner.

When we talk about betrayal?

exclude, of course, the real betrayal occurs when knowledge from other virtual becomes real.

I think we can speak of a betrayal when the online level of "share" towards the other virtual exceeds a certain threshold.

boundary between friendship and the sharing of that pair is not equal for everyone, but changes according to situations and people involved.

limit that, theoretically, we might ask when the " us" virtual torque becomes dominant compared to single individuals, as that related to each them, private, must be able to maintain a certain emotional distance.

entities ego Instead of You and We, in real life poised between rampant individualism and all-encompassing mergers, the virtual trigger a shift of fusion, helped by the game that is on the reciprocal projections Typical of the reports online.

When, in the virtual relationship, the "us" takes over, the report be confidential, empathetic, passionate becomes in the sense that the presence of the chat is expected to be one expects a person in love, when the absence of the other, always chatting, anxiety becomes abandoned, is profiled here that the horizon is the betrayal.

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The emotional dependency. The new dependencies

dependency is not created solely and exclusively of substance, but also by reports that the individual has with its environment. It usually indicates a link between an individual submission and another person, group, object, behavior, ...

From a psychological point of view, the subject "employee" is characterized by a lack of autonomy and capacity to make decisions autonomous, often has a vision of themselves as needy, fragile, as the "victim". Dependence on these subjects initiated against objects or persons is closely linked to their need not to feel inadequate and to experience a positive self image.

In many cases we are talking about emotional dependency, but what is it?

the subject is the emotional dependency, as the term itself, dependent on an emotional - affective established with another person. It indicates a relationship of submission that the individual states with each other, where it is the "relationship" to become the object of employees.

Where does the emotional dependency?

The origin of this dependence is to be found in the context of earlier reports with significant figures. Although it may seem paradoxical sets in a dependency because you need love! From early childhood the child is dependent on their caregivers, both for their own basic needs of hunger, thirst, cold and for their emotional needs. If the relationship between the subject in childhood and the adult will be characterized by acceptance, respect and care the child will grow and empathic responsive autonomous, independent, self-assured and confident in their abilities and in others, contrary will develop insecure and need constant confirmation.

In emotional dependence, or risk losing their own identity, the person constantly and obsessively pursues the reassurance, attention and love .

The relationship with the other, with your partner, apparently appears to be a loving relationship, but is described as a relationship of "need." The subject emotionally dependent lives a report full of anxiety, fear and insecurity as it is too concentrated to "ask" love, care and attention. We find ourselves faced with a fusional relationship.

Who is under the thumb of this kind of dependence is often an insecure person with low self-esteem, fear of abandonment and separation anxiety. The subject of establishing a relationship just to fill their fears and their needs.

The person with emotional dependency is characterized by:

ü Fear of losing love

ü fear of loneliness, abandonment and the Order of the solutes

ü mostrrsi for fear of what is and is not accepted as such

ü sense of inferiority towards the partenr, which is seen as a "hero" and "savior"

ü Guilt

ü Jealousy

ü Resentment and possessiveness

In a more specific between thoughts and emotional experiences applicants we can find:

ü tendency to underestimate the effort related to what is intended to help your loved one get to the point, without perceiving time, high levels of physical and psychological stress;

ü terror of which leads to even do things previously unthinkable just to avoid the end of the report;

ü tendency to habitually take the responsibility and the guilt of married life;

ü extremely self-esteem low, resulting in a profound conviction that I do not deserve happiness;

ü tendency to feed fantasies of how it could be related to their relationship as a couple if the partner change, rather than to rely on thoughts related to the current ratio and real

ü propensity to feel attraction to people with contemporary indifference and apathy towards people friendly, balanced, trustworthy, instead arouse boredom.

Giddens studying the emotional dependency identified some c eatures specific this dependence, namely:

ü 's intoxication: the subject emotionally dependent on a feeling of exhilaration from the relationship with partner, in a more specific experiences euphoria depending on the reactions expressed by the partners over its behavior.

ü the dose: the search for patients 'doses' increasing presence and time to spend with your partner, the His absence throws in a state of prostration. The subject exists only when there is another and not enough to reassure her thoughts, needs continuous and tangible manifestations. The other is an escape, a source of gratification only, so that it arrives to neglect the normal daily activities such as work activities and relationships.

ü the loss of self: the emotional dependency, there is a high risk of loss of self, one's critical faculties and thus also critical of the other, seen as essential nutrients. The sense loss of identity is followed by feelings of shame and remorse. In fact, some moments, you feel something distorted in relation to the other, that addiction is harmful and that they would want to do less, but the finding of being trapped in a model employee feels unworthy, and then goes even more to embrace the other. Addiction is seen as a special experience and it is in the sense that anything else is just as good.

The person with emotional dependency and parasitic obsessively in love, asking partner to an absolute attention and devotion. Love employee is characterized by stagnation folds on itself and close to all external influences and experiences.

The scientific literature has found that emotional dependency is present mainly among women. Dr. Claudia

Distefano

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The field of pathological dependence is now much more diverse and heterogeneous, including not only the inside and only specific substances, but also phenomena such as internet addiction, the emotional dependence, compulsive shopping.

Within this vast panorama, it is essential first to dwell on the concept of addiction , it needs a point multidimensional view, taking account simultaneously of both aspects of the neurobiological and behavioral factors, social, psychological and cultural.

approach to the phenomenon of dependency is obvious that it is not limited solely and exclusively to the so-called "substance-related disorders" are they related to the use of a substance or induced by substances such as amphetamines, opiates, cannabis, cocaine, ...

Currently, research and scientific debate focused on "New Dependencies", namely: Internet addiction, by phone, sex, work, from compulsive shopping, gambling, addiction affective ...

In the above cases it is not used and / or substance abuse, as it usually can be found in drug addiction or tossicofilie, but reports of behaviors and problems, inadequate and dysfunctional refer to objects, activities, management of its time and relationship with the internal reality, for what concerns the perception of self, and external, with regard to interpersonal relations, social and torque.

The addiction itself as a form determined by morbid distorted use of a substance, of an object or behavior, an experience characterized by a feeling of forcefully compulsive and need to be repeated compulsive manner.

It is a noninvasive condition in which we can find phenomena such as carving, addiction, abstinence in relation to an uncontrollable habit and irresistible that the subject can not remove itself.

These new forms of dependence can be incorporated within the behavioral addictions. They, through the continuous and relentless search for certain behaviors (such as the internet, sex, shopping, or whatever ...) interfere in the daily life of the subject at many levels. On the economic

may lead to a reduction in net worth due to the costs carried by the subject of research aimed at the desired behavior, in severe cases the dependency can also go to interfere with the effectiveness and productivity at work and can therefore be cause for dismissal working. Psychologically, it should be emphasized as well as the consequent cognitive problems such as attention and concentration, distortions of reality and thinking skills, addiction can cause emotional problems such as depression, guilt, decreased self-esteem and loss resulting social isolation. Social isolation, in fact, are an issue very important: in fact, the subject tends to isolate themselves from friends, relatives, colleagues, no longer able to relate to them.

The field of new pathological addictions requires a new awareness and sensitivity in what appears to be a phenomenon characterized by transversality and the great danger. They can, in fact, be victims preteens, teenagers, adults, seniors, men and women of diverse backgrounds. Dr. Claudia

Distefano

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The search for the thrill behind the wheel!

The traffic psychology is that particular field of applied psychology that focuses on the participants of the traffic crossing many fields of study than the perception up to the personality.

But who is "traffic psychologist" and he does not do?

certainly in the Italian is a emerging figure, which, unfortunately, still have not gotten a proper response.

The Istat survey found in Italy, 218,963 in the year 2008 well in 4364 fatal accidents. Are alarming figures that lead to reflection. What determines and influences driving safety?

The theme of "driving safety" in the Italian is still not sufficiently addressed in the psychological perspective, but most of the times in key legislation, and then with a light punishment. It becomes necessary to approach this issue in a more purely psychological perspective to understand what are the factors that influence the behavior of the driver and what drives him to implement dangerous behavior.

would be useful to investigate how factors such as: fatigue, alcohol use and / or psychotropic substances, but also personality traits and influences, skills and social factors, can interfere with safe driving. What brings drivers to lose control physically, cognitively and emotionally?

The psychology of traffic, primarily in response to a question arises as objective to deal with road safety by combating the phenomenon of road deaths and trying to prevent accidents through a "road education" that is not solely and exclusively educational and punitive, but instead trying to raise awareness on the value of safety and how it may take many variables, first of all the so-called "Sensation Seeking."

The Sensation Seeking ricondubile is to risk seeking. Take the risk or the risk of taking action, means to move towards an uncertain outcome situations. In the particular context of the psychology of driving and road the concept to assume risks of connecting closely to "voluntarily chosen to take potentially harmful and dangerous behavior." The

was identified by Zuckerman Sensation Seeking as a personality trait defined by the search for intense sensations and experiences and the tendency to take risks for the sheer pleasure of these experiences. It has within it four specific dimensions: thrill and adventure seeking, research experience, disinhibition and susceptibility to boredom.

Numerous studies in the field of psychosocial well-documented that it is possible to find a relationship between high tract of Sensation Seeking and dangerous driving, high impulsivity and usage of drugs and alcohol before getting behind the wheel.

It thus appears that some personality factors appear to be predictive of future risky behaviors when they are driving. What brings the subject to violate the rules of the road, high speed or taking alcohol before riding is attributable to a number of factors: strong impulsivity, aggression, emotional instability, sensation seeking strong and inadequate risk perception.

It is in this context that it becomes necessary to implement a psychological prevention in order to promote safe driving. Dr. Claudia

Distefano

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Betrayal: The End of the couple? Loyalty & Betrayal

Betrayal: end or new beginning?

Very often leads to break the betrayal of the couple, but sometimes it is, paradoxically, is the place to start to rebuild a bond.

then it is interpreted as a " divergence to convergence," or an opportunity to recover an interrupted dialogue and find their ability to relate and to love. In this case hinges on not only through the acceptance phase but also through that of forgiveness.

Choosing acceptance not excuse the person who made a mistake, especially when it seems to show no intention of reparation: rather we seek to better understand the circumstances involved. With this understanding, and without denying the pain, we can reestablish our freedom and inner peace, feelings that come from having been able to react with an open heart at a loss. This increases our security and sense of personal power in a world full of risks. It 'clear that by accepting, and forgiving, the nature of the relationship may change forever. Certainly it is easier to accept that you have been wronged by someone who do not attend every day, as a friend or family member who has behaved badly.

The forgiveness, however, is much more complex interpersonal process that requires a great effort by those who have betrayed him. And it is the best way for all couples who, torn by the discovery of an affair, they want to recover their relationship. The unfaithful partner must, however, take responsibility for its conduct, must be able to understand the deep pain of others and through their actions show they wanted to repair trustworthy. This can take time and effort. For many people forgive or be forgiven is really too tiring. Some couples however, have overcome their problems and are back together well, with fullness and satisfaction. It takes courage, patience, perseverance and, often, even the help of a therapist who helps facilitate the entire process.

Dr. Claudia Distefano

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Fidelity and betrayal are two sides of same coin we call as a "covenant of love." The fidelity

is the cardinal point of this pact. It can be seen as passive loyalty, or a moral rigidity, allegiance to the other body, and an active loyalty, fidelity corresponding to the person, or with the decision to betray the other for a choice of value and not for "fear of a hypothetical punishment." The betrayal

instead represents the breaking of the covenant of love. It 'an action that necessarily changes the status and relations previously existing between people, disappoint the trust and expectations and then breaking the tie.

We could say that the betrayal breaks everyday because then leads the couple to separate what happened before and what happened after that event.

Psychologically we are facing in the betrayal of trust all'infrangersi primary, leading to clearly distinguish themselves from the Other.

Specifically, there are three stages in betrayal :

- one where you fantasized

- one where you acted

- that in which it is discovered .

Following its discovery, in general, feelings are presented in the following order:

- the anger that can sometimes result in failure of the final report;

- the desire for revenge , which, however, allows you to process what happened;

- the loss of self accompanied to feel devalued, diminished, the sense of loss of confidence on the other and that part of themselves that had been entrusted.

against treachery betrayed usually put in place defenses . These include: the denial, the betrayed partner defines the faithless as a negative person, poor and unreliable erasing any possible positive view of him, and cynicism or distrust, and show the betrayed contempt for everyone and everything so abolishing 'all feeling positive power paranoid, or betrayed trying to protect themselves from future dangers by checking the traitor with distrust and blackmail, ask for proof of devotion and loyalty, to reach out to a destruction of the love relationship that will instead only and exclusively a power relationship where people who have been betrayed and will not stop attacking those who have betrayed not stop reassuring.

This characterizes the experience of betrayal with destabilizing aspects of vulnerability, dependence and self-devaluation for those subjected to it. Dr.

Claudia Distefano

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's Self-Esteem

The mental, emotional and physical is closely related to our self-esteem!

But what is self-esteem?

And how can we do to "feel good about ourselves?"

To answer the first question "What is self-esteem is necessary to make a small step back and understand that scenario it is located. This scenario is the "self concept", which in simple terms the "world" or the image inside "that each has of himself. That image is developed since from early childhood in relation to how others relate to us in a more specific in relation to other people's reactions to our behavior.

Self-esteem is to be determined by various objective and subjective information ricondubili three types of self: The

1. real self, which is the objective assessment of our abilities, skills and characteristics . The perceived self
2. , consisting precisely the image that we have in our real self, ourselves, or in a subjective view of those abilities, characteristics and quality that we are present and absent. The
3. ideal self, however, is described as what we would like or think we ought to be. It is influenced by culture and society.

Self-esteem is then evaluated, a "self-esteem," about the information contained in the concept of self . It is the emotional reaction we experience when we observe and evaluate aspects of ourselves, connected to our personal beliefs regarding the abilities and skills, our social relationships, ...

This view we have of ourselves, we develop from childhood, however, can not be described in a one-dimensional. Self-esteem, in contrast, is a multidimensional concept and non-unitary. It encompasses a variety of ways, for example

Ø the social inherent in the way I feel when I'm with the others, I feel appreciated or not?

Ø What school - working on to what I feel competent and adequate in accomplishing tasks

Ø What family inherent The way I see it, my family lived in the ccontesto.

Ø What body, or the court about how I feel physically

It should be stressed that the level of self-worth, whether positive or negative, affects our self-efficacy, or the "belief in their ability to organize and implement the course of action necessary to properly manage the situations we meet in order to achieve the desired results "(Bandura, 1986), and then trust that a person puts in their ability to tackle a specific task.

A good and healthy self-esteem is a useful factor for socio-emotional adjustment, it is the basis of a "mental functioning" and thus a success in the life of the subject.

often run into problems with self-esteem due to a discrepancy between self, a difference between the perceived self and ideal self, when in fact the gap is very high, you are faced with a very low self-esteem. However, very often incurs a decline in their self-esteem because of emotional disturbances related to anxiety, anger, guilt, suffering and loneliness.

Altrettando often drop in our self-esteem is due to having experienced failures in the field social, occupational and / or school, family, ...

In the aforementioned examples may be used to some strategies to improve and protect their self-esteem:

1. selectively assign importance to those goals that we can potentially achieve.
2. Resize the importance of failures
3. not be too strict with themselves in terms of self-evaluation.

Dr. Claudia Distefano

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I believe to be the answer to many questions, and are sure to be the right answer several questions wrong.

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Love is ... Psyche & Soma

What is love?

When you're in love how it feels and what you think?

writers, philosophers, thinkers, artists, painters, sculptors have always been interested in trying to describe love.

Each in its own way, moving from the demonization of this feeling that is "reason to lose" all the way to its sublimation instead as "essence of life."

define Surely Love is not an easy task.

When we speak of love, from a psychological point of view, we can understand like " An integrated biopsychosocial or process, that is a dynamic entity, evolving and moving, which involves man in whole biological, psychological and social and serves to promote closeness between two individuals in order to facilitate the reproduction of the species, but also a sense of security, joy and well-being, through the attenuation of the unpleasant feelings caused by anxiety and stress .

Far from being exhaustive and the wish to label an emotion characterized by the complexity but also the subjectivity of people who live on the definition given allows us to reflect on some issues.

First love is identifiable Like a biopsychosocial process, so that they can find a triple level: biological, psychological and social.

Secondly, the purpose back to the previous definition, shows that it is closely related to feelings of security, joy and prosperity.

Dopottutto among the possible motives that drive us to find a partner stable, our love object, surely the most important one, due to Love, is found to atavism need for security that accompanies the human being to death, which has its roots in fetal life and early years of his life in his relationship with his mother and significant figures of childhood. Pertantanto to him / her that we choose as our object of love "entrust" the task of reproducing the initial conditions being experienced with the significant figures of childhood.

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You can really think of body and mind as separate entities?

To answer this question we must start from a basic assumption: there is approachable human being exclusively taking into account an optical biopsychic.

In order to better understand this statement would be useful to quote a phrase contained in the most recent editions of the DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used internationally, " There is a lot of mental and physical disorders much physical mental disorders. " There is therefore a strong link between psychological factors and biological factors.

We think maybe because numerous occasions, and even physical illnesses have an impact on the psychological level in everyday life. Conversely, scientific research has attempted to show how they also found correlations between psychological and somatic illnesses. Often, stress, anxiety and depression can lead to diseases of interest purely medical disorders such as gastrointestinal or cardiovascular function.

Although psychosomatic born more than two centuries ago, perhaps only now is having a "major success".

central node of that discipline is stressed that the ills of psychic can then emerge through the discomfort of a physical nature.

clear duty to look at the "psychosomatic" from a dual perspective. First, by observing his object of study. It is manifold. Includes within it not only the so-called "psychosomatic" all those diseases of medical interest for which the psychological factor becomes an important cause, but also the so-called "somatoform disorders", where the conflict is moved and acted on psychic body, precisely the burden, taking various forms, such as somatization disorder.

Subjects suffering from the aforementioned disorder have a history of multiple physical problems started before age 30 and lasting at least two years during which they undergo extensive medical tests that have created a clinically significant distress and impairment in social and occupational functioning. The painful symptoms may be related to different areas of the body, from gastrointestinal to sexual than neurological. However, the aforementioned symptoms, after thorough medical examinations, are not explained by any medical condition while not intentionally produced or simulated by the patients themselves.

A second point of view as an approach to psychosomatic conil is represented by the particular sensitivity of the discipline against the relational dyad in patient - doctor. Hence descend to the particular attention paid to the sick person, not just as a patient but also as a person, the psychological characteristics of building relationships in the intervention and treatment; the expectations and the whole "moral" of the doctor-related.

in conclusion we can say that the psychosomatic currently has found greater success in the scientific landscape precisely because of his vision of the human being as a biopsychosocial entity and the importance attributed to the multifactorial genesis of a pathological phenomenon .

The human being is, therefore, contained within a biological context, psychological and social in which each disease is caused by a complexity of factors.

In this landscape is easy to understand how mind and body are not separate entities, in contrast between them is still possible to find a mutual relationship.

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What are emotions?

philosophers and thinkers have always been interested in the study of emotions, as they represent an essential axis of the representation of the moral life.

contributions from philosophers may be ie that of Aristotle, who in "De anima and de essentia" already provided significant inputs of modernity.

Or in more recent times, include the contributions of Darwin, who wrote a book far more fundamental: "The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals" where: in the first location shows the continuity of the emotions between the animal world and the human world, and secondly, you start a scientific study of emotions which uses an innovative methodology, which is the objective observation of behavior.

At the end of the nineteenth century, precisely in 1884, James wrote his essay "What is an emotion" and overturns the previous tradition that looked to the emotions as mere states of consciousness, claiming that they were rather the perception of the body triggered by environmental stimuli to emotional character.

the contributions of James studies of emotions have evolved, and later succeeded in a variety of diverse theories.

Although it is difficult to find a unique and comprehensive definition to define the emotions, they represent the affective processes are characterized by feelings of pleasure - displeasure with the approach answers - allontanemento and a positive evaluation - negative event.

consist of intense reactions and short-term, determined by environmental stimuli and / or intrapsychic stimuli, which cause physiological activation.

Emotions also have multiple functions: determine rapidly the physiological changes necessary to support adaptive responses of the body, allow us to communicate its plans and its intentions through the expression, allowing the modification of cognitive activity with the consequent reorientation of conduct based on new priorities.

The main task of the emotions is to be a "powerful interface" between the individual and the environment "in a position to mediate between the constantly changing situations and behavioral responses individual. They perform a scan function and assessment of environmental events in order to decide on the relevance and potential effect on the aims and interests of the individual and to prepare to react to these events in an adaptive way.

emotions can also be found in several components: a cognitive component, on the development of the emotional significance of the stimulus, a neurophysiological component of the activities of the central nervous system and autonomic nervous system, a component related to the motivational needs related to emotion and purpose, a motor component found in the instrumental and expressive function and ultimately a subjective component inherent the living conscious and aware of the emotional experience monitoring.

emotional processes, in fact, include aspects related to the evaluative nature of the stimulus and the state of the organism, but also aspects of expression, communication, and instrumental attivazionali.

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Cyberbullying

In recent years we have witnessed the spread and multiplication of the media.

are definitely at the top phones and the Internet.

Both now readily accessible even at an early age, sometimes starting right from primary and secondary schools, and most of the time delivered to the children without any real control.

Within this panorama has recently suggested a new phenomenon from both school and social connotation - Report: Cyberbullying the .

The dual aspect can be explained through its implementing rules. Very often, the actions prevaricanti starting in virtual environments known victims in the school context, then extend your interpersonal relationships through face to face an escalation of behavior that may move from insults, abuse carried out by chat to real threats and physical violence.

cyberbullying is, in fact, aggressive actions implemented attravero tools and / or virtual environments. Examples of cyberbullying can be carried out to send emails, sms unwelcome, offensive, threatening or defamatory sites, or even create social network pages (first of all facebook) of the victim.

Especially teenage victim of cyberbullying can be harmful to ultremodo a double number of reasons. In the first place because the subject is immersed in the process of forming its own independent identity ... is in search of his own.

Secondly because right in the adolescent period the relations established through the network, instant messaging, social networks, internet are experienced with a strong emotional and realistic nature, often very similar to those in the face to face.

The online experience of the boy / a victim of cyberbullying can then take with them a profound effect on her social life, relationships and the development of its identity.

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Body & Communications

What do we communicate?

How do we communicate?

As our body speaks to us?

E 'right through our bodies that we act in the surrounding environment and interact with others.

Our body is, therefore, the most immediate means of communication available to us.

It speaks to us and allows us to communicate with others.
What do we mean by the word communicate?

The communication is not easy to be a topic of discussion, certainly to question what it means to communicate, many risponderebbere "Talking." However, behind the simple "talking" you can find many other facets that go from simple to send a message to share, by establishing contact with each other to achieve a genuine negotiation and cooperation.

Behind the term "communication" lies a universe of meanings, but I think that is perhaps more comprehensive, in fact, present as a co-construction of a common meaning.

Communicating means then agree on a perspective, just as metaphorically takes place in an orchestra where everything is connected, tuned in a particular rhythm that sets a real team spirit among participants.

Always remaining in the metaphor of the orchestra, who is the conductor of our communications?? We are us!

course to be good conductors and communicate effectively with others dovremmop be aware of how to discuss the means of communication simultaneously prendenre ceonsiderazione as it occurs not only through the verbal channel, ie in the so-called common sense "talk", but also through nonverbal modes defined.

Think of how we communicate CONUN simple gesture, a simple look ... sometimes more than a thousand words.

comunicanzione The non-verbal embraces, in general, anything that is not strictly linguistic, includes, in fact, all aspects of a communicative exchange are not related to the purely semantic level of the message, which is the literal meaning of words in the message itself.

It has been studied starting right pressupposto for a human being is impossible not to communicate, because in addition to deliberate about which refers to verbal communication in everyday life are "talks" even if you use other channels, such as : our bodies, our attitudes and behaviors, such ... type of communication is universally understood as the mechanisms by which results are similar in all cultures, although each culture tends then to rework how the different non-verbal messages.

Within the non-verbal communication are therefore a complex and somewhat eterogeo common set of processes, ranging from paralinguistic quality of the voice, the facial expressions, gestures, the sgurado, the proxemics, until you get to posture , clothes and makeup.

We are what we comunicahiamo and it is impossible for us not to communicate!